retrospect for life
"Having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me"
-Common
There are many things that I wish I had been before being a Father, and though I know life is not linear, I feel at times that my life has played a bit backwards. I have no regrets, but the one thing I wish I had is that I started sooner. Not having the proper tools to express myself when I was young, as a partner and a Father, made my relationships more challenging. Mostly for those on the receiving end.
Fast forward to this particular moment in time, I can tell you that who I wish I was then, I have become today. It took some pretty deep diving into my own flaws and the bad that has grown within, but also some realizations that brought to light my true intentions for myself and those around me.
I can't tell you what a good Father is supposed to be like and frankly, I don't think anyone has it figured out. Specially as a parent. Nor do I know truly know what a MAN is supposed to look like. I did not have the best example of it growing up. I was constantly searching for a sort of father figure to fill that frame, and though there were less than a handful of them around, I know that I had to become what I was searching for all along. Specifically for my daughter. I never aimed to brake a mold nor be what I didn't have, but my biggest goal when I became a father, was to be the father I felt my kiddo needed. I once asked another father if they knew what love was, and their response was a little something like, "I thought I did, until I had my son." I knew what he meant.
This one here is dedicated to you.
To the Father that did not allow the absence of this own to alter his view on what a Father should be.
To the one that knows that at times you just gotta tough it out.
To the one that isn't afraid of being what their daughter needed at that moment when the princess herself hosted you at her tea party and had you wear a pretty crown for the occasion.
To the one that holds himself to the highest standard possible in order to set the example for his kids, even though he may not feel enough for them.
To the sole provider and bread winner.
The Father who wears every hat under the sun and knows when to switch them up.
To the one that allows his inner child to pour out every time it's playtime.
To the one making sacrifices even when he knows they won't be acknowledged.
To the one who teaches his sons to be better men for the daughters of the world.
To the one that rooted the loudest at your kindergarten graduation.
To the one that yelled the loudest when you snuck out of the house at 1am.
To the one that holds you accountable even when you feel it hurts you, but he does it because he sees how far you can go.
To the one that makes mistakes and owns them.
To the one that continues to do his inner work, not because it's good for him, but because it's good for you.
To the one that lets his kids be kids.
To the one that even when you feel you have failed, he is still the most proud of being your Father.
To the Father that played a Father in your friend's life because he understood what they were up against and made them feel like they belonged to your family.
To the one that started from scratch and built something just so you can see that it can be done.
To the best example of a MAN.
The FATHER.
This is for you.
Know that you are doing the best you can with what you know, and all that is truly required from you is to SHOW UP!
It's that simple.
Thank you for being there.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
